Oh the good news.......shhhhhhhhh

It's Wednesday night, the snow is all but gone (and this makes me a little sad), outside it reached a balmy 15 degrees C and I seemed to have finally mastered chord progressions 1-5 in the key of E Major.

I never would have thought keeping up to date with all this blogging would be so difficult. Why I thought coming to America would mean I would be any less busy is beyond me but hey.

So what has happened since January 5th? Aside from the one newsletter I sent out about a month back and some serious character wake up calls quite a bit. Where to start, where to begin, where to place the best foot forward and take a trip down memory lane to recount these happenings?

I could start at the beginning by telling you what has been going on at the school, what God has been teaching me, challenging me on and encouraging me in. I could start with the myriad of social activities I have been involved in of late (the numerous late night sledding trips, the green river, the cheese castles)or I could start with the fact I have had some of the strangest dreams I have ever had the great fortune to enjoy lately.

Well, I am going to start with the dreams, that way if you are really interested in what I have to say you will read on...

Now I have been dreaming a lot in colour recently and of the three dreams that come to mind the one that really sticks out involved me selling an old bmx for the princely sum of 519 dollars 86 cents. Why so specific? Well the guy who bought it did so because he broke his, I wasnt sure if I could sell him the bike because I had a sneaking suspicion that someone else had a controlling stake in it. I figured it would be fine though and sold him the bike. I only did so because I knew I could borrow my host family's bike. Very very strange. I have had other dreams that I won't go into, they are even weirder. I wish I knew why I dreamt this way. Probably the musings of an overactive imagination!

So what has been going on at the school? Aside from everything ramping up big time and the workload at times feeling quite overwhelming (partly due to having to redo an entire ear training chapter which was 3 months work...which we were given two weeks to do)it has been phenomenal. I have known God speak to me really clearly about several things. The most important subject for me has been his presence. What it means for things to come out of the secret place, how his presence changes things. I would like to expound on that more but it is something I am still trying to get my head around. Even today in reading the gospel of Mark there is a portion of the first chapter which is in verse 35-38 which almost seems out of place. The whole chapter is basically about Jesus doing miracle after miracle but this little section talks about how even Jesus had to find a quiet place alone from everyone. It says he awoke while it was still dark to pray. He continually sought the father and was continually filled and strengthened to go about the work he was doing. It struck me if Jesus needed to do this at the beginning of the day how much more do we need to do it. The other thing was that the Father didnt tell Jesus exactly what was going to happen that day but he was empowered to move when he heard his father speak, He continued to make Himself attentive to the Father's voice. He spent time in the presence of the Father cultivating intimacy, seeking the Father's will so when it came time to act he was ready. He recognised the need to do this and this is Jesus! How much more so us.

God has been challenging my character a lot recently. Character, motive, gifting and humility. We have been reading a book called Humility by Andrew Murray and it has to be one of the most difficult books to read, not because the words are long or because it is written like on of Paul's letters to the churches (which have sentences that are longer than all three Lord of the Rings extended editions put together) but because the content is so challenging. Really delving into what pride is was a shock and this book and what God has been showing me is that I am full of it. Thanks to the grace of God I know this is getting less and less as I continually have to die to myself. I am not there yet but he who has started a work in me will finish it. Hallelujah for that I tell thee! We have also been working through God's Lavish Grace by Terry Virgo, who incidentally spoke at one of our meetings a couple of weeks back...the guys is a model of humility and a huge inspiration! This book is phenomenal and makes me want to cry at just how good God is, what it means to be truly justified and how grace is outworked in our lives. This in addition to Tozer's pursuit of God and we have on this school and arsenal of formidable texts that have so much wisdom and insight contained within their pages it is just incredible.

These books in addition to Spiritual Leadership have really caused me to think and repent about the way I have carried myself and what it means to be someone of good character. I am so thankful that God is showing me the path to achieve these things and that it all begins with humility.

So in terms of the 'fun stuff' which, actually all of the above has been, I have been a busy busy chap. I love sledding. I love the snow. We have tackled some big hills, tames some steep sites and got stuck in various snow drifts. The one incident that comes to mind is when the school took a trip to northern michigan (forgive me for not writing in caps but I am feeling lazy) to visit a church with links to the school. Five days in the middle of nowhere with the most hospitable people you are ever likely to meet. Aside from the home-cooking which was out of this world and being beaten at chess by my Indian friend Lalu who for some reason doesn't sleep at night there were some memories that were made.

Picture if you will a brit and Indian and an American driving a 4x4 owned by a German couple. Yep, you got it, all the ingredients for a bad joke! Well it was a dark cold monday night and we were leading at a homegroup out in the sticks about 15 miles from civilization. We three jumped in the truck, programmed the GPS and off we trotted...halfway across the county. We turned left to go up the road that would eventually (or so we thought) lead us to our destination... This road was a seasonal road and 0.7 miles from our desitnation the snow on the road went from being a foot deep to about 4 foot deep and we needless to say we got stuck. I am trying to dig us out with an ice scraper, the Indian is taking photos and the American girl is in the truck trying to keep warm, thank the Lord she had a phone otherwise we would be in deep trouble. We had to get towed out in the end as the snow was right up under the chassis. Memories were made that night for sure.

Well I am tired, I have written a lot. I am planning another newsletter soon and so keep your peepers peeled for that. I look forward to sharing in person what God has been teaching me this year both spiritually and practically and I hope what I have learned will be a benefit to y'all.

Until then, please keep in touch. As much as I am sure you want to know what is happening here I want to hear from you.

Over and out. Roger Roger, what's the vector Victor, do we have clearance Clarence?

So two months on...

I can't believe it has been two months since my last blog. Yes I have been busy but I know there are some people that would really like to know what I have been up too.

Since Novemeber the months have flown by (all two of them) and the school has been getting more and more intense which is great. I have been learning a lot of head knowledge stuff but up until now I don't feel I have changed a great deal. This is not normally the case when you give up a year of your life to pursue God and learn more about him. One thing I have seen in my own life is how much pride,selfishness and self-centredness I have. How I can talk my way out of situations and appear to have everything together when I really don't. I have always been very good at putting on a smile and cracking a joke. One thing I have been praying for this year is noticeable change in my life; to become a man of true humility, true character and one fully given over to pursuing a relationship with the person of Jesus Christ.

It is so easy to get caught up in motives and chasing purpose in and for the kingdom as opposed to chasing the person of Christ. I have a lot of very good friendships but few deep relationships. I could count on one hand (or even half of one hand) the people that really know me. I have always wondered what it means to go deeper in Christ and in relationship with him. Spending more time in the word is key and memorising scripture and reciting it to yourself. It awakens the soul and I want to be feeding myself with this.

I am so hungry for God to literally tear me to pieces so he can shape me and mould me in his image and likeness. I am not my own I have been bought with a price (corinthians 6:20) I want to be fully committed to the things of him and I know in myself I can be lazy, have a tendency to get by or have the ability to say the right things...

God's thoghts are higher than mine and his ways are not my ways. With this truth in mind it is astonishing to know that he desires relationship with us.

Having started Tozer's The Pursuit of God it explains that before man can think a right thought of God there must have been a work of enlightenment done within him. Before we could seek God he must have sought us first! This has been amazing to me and even though I had heard it a thousand times before I guess I never really understood the person of God. I want to develop this more and I know it is not something I will find in 6 months, it will be a continual search, however it is a journey I am excited to undertake no matter what the cost.

In other news Christmas was great and I have a wonderful host family who made me feel so blessed to be a part of their time together. New Year was great as well, so many people and so little time.

I am not one for new year resolutions aside from the purpose to be more focused this year and unrelenting in my search for Him. If it hurts it hurts but his joy will be my strength, nothing can rob me of this.